20.3.19

HOW I'VE MADE RIGHT ALL THE WRONGS.


HOW I'VE MADE RIGHT ALL THE WRONGS. 


Oh, this post feels like a long time coming and oh my god. I'm so glad I can finally share this with you. 

Back in February me and my two best friends went on a lil trip to Disneyland Paris and it was simply perfect...and don't worry, I'll be sharing all my travel diaries with you soon. Today though, I wanted to share a more personal reason as to why this trip was so special to me. 

Whilst Disneyland is known to be the most magical place and I'm already lucky enough to have some amazing memories from my first trip as a child; my previous trip has since been overshadowed with anxiousness, paranoia and that heartbreaking moment I realised what I thought was a long-term relationship, definitely wasn't going to last forever. Thankfully my trip in 2015 was filled with some lovely memories which I will keep close to me, unfortunately when we were planning and the duration of our time in DLP when I shared my pervious experiences the stories always ended with me feeling sad, having cried and on a couple occasions how anxious I'd felt. 


In the following two years after that trip my anxiety seemed to deteriorate. 

Now in no way am I trying to blame this trip on my mental health; more recognising that this trip triggered a few feelings which I then continued to deal with for the following months. 

I don't want to brand my ex-boyfriend to be the worst person in the world...hell, enough people already think this about him anyway. And I'm not about to start listing everything that went wrong, it's just when that relationship ended I'd noticed the connections between my mental health, worries and nerves and how I was essentially clinging onto a relationship that should've ended once we'd arrived home from that original trip. Ah being blinded by love ey. 

Since then though I've spent the best part of a year focusing on myself; actually I've been this advocate for self-care and self-love, essentially becoming this independent woman *clicks fingers*. I promised myself I wouldn't let anyone effect me that way again, Ive mentally grown and fuck, I feel so much stronger for it - yay! I've been doing everything possible to grown on my own, taken help from people close to me and doing whatever is needed to take every negative thought and switch them into something positive and generally having more belief in the person I've become this year. 

Oh and I bet you can imagine how empowered I've been feeling for the last two years, I've learnt to love myself, appreciate my friendships so much more and well, I've fallen in love again. 



The best part of all this was Disneyland Paris was the time I really felt that chapter of my life close. I got to re-experience all the magic of Disney, I can tell stories from DLP and they're no longer attached to an ex-boyfriend but instead attached to my two forever friends. And purely because I have the best friends they helped me in every single way, together we made sure I'd made peace with what I felt previously and we can whole heartedly say we made right all the wrongs and guys, I've not stopped smiling about it since. 

I really want to celebrate my friends who sat with me and watched 'disney illuminations', took me back to the restaurants, took me around the parks and all the rides so that any bad memory or experience I'd had were no longer there, we spent five glorious days at Disneyland where we just enjoyed the magic and laugh uncontrollably, oh and took some of the most beaut photos. We made right any wrongs I was feeling but also took a break from reality, something all three of us were in desperate need of at the time. 

So shout out to my two besties but being my absolute rocks over the 4 years I've known them. I'd be nowhere near as strong and empowered without 'em. 

Oh girls, I bloody love you x  

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