There comes a point in every bloggers blogging career that they dislike blogging and I envy you if you're yet to experience this. 

I'm not an established blogger and admittedly this is a hobby for me after all. 

But I've put a lot of effort into my blog over the last five years and personally I'd hate for it to stop now; but I can't stop feeling so distant from the blogging world and community recently. I've written posts sporadically throughout 2017/2018 and I no longer have the same enjoyment as I once did. Whilst my photography has vastly improved, my written content has somehow disappeared. I've put my lack of creativity down to personal issues but 10 months down the line, I think it's time to stop using my heartbreak as an excuse. I think considering we all take our own time to get over things, to move on and have different attachments to things; I'm not surprised that this effects my creativity the way it does, I'm just so frustrated that I no longer have the same energy for 'blogging days' like I did once upon a time.

Throughout the course of this year I've wanted to change my blogging style, whether it be through my content, my photography or the genre's I focus on. I've had ideas after ideas and it's gotten to a point where I feel as though it's all forced, I drag myself off the sofa every Tuesday to take photographs and write content and at the end of every blogging day - it feels wasted. 

I've now come to the conclusion, I don't like blogging. 
But, I also love blogging. 
I'm stuck in a rut. 
It may currently be my hobby, but I need something more from my online content creating. 
It's possible that I need a new project and a new direction. 

Every month I find myself thinking about taking some time away, refreshing my mind, switching off the internet and coming back full of creativity. But before taking yet another month away from my blog, I wanted to share the things I don't like about being online. 

I don't like forcing myself to write, which I ALWAYS end up doing lately. 

I don't like not having time to constantly stay part of the community, staying active online and feeling involved. 

I don't like my own photography, I constantly feel the need to improve my flatlays. 

I don't like how many ideas come to me whilst I'm at work and then I loose the receipt slip's that I've written them down on. 

I don't like that I want to make this more than just a hobby. 

I don't like that I'm constantly pressuring myself because of that.

I don't like judging my own work, reading and re-reading my posts until I want to delete them. 

I miss sitting at my desk and writing for hours on end. 

I miss knowing that I could create a post a day. 

I don't like that I don't feel motivated enough to write content daily for monthly projects like blogmas. 

I've read endless posts with blogging ideas and I'm still left feeling unmotivated. 

When it comes to blogging and creativity I think it's difficult to stay on top of the game when there's so many factors, so much pressure and all the 'little' things that need doing to make a blog even noticeable. Blogging has always been a creative outlet for me - I've tried and tested a thousand different 'crafty' hobbies and See The Stars is the one that's stuck. I think it's due to enjoying the photography aspect, how writing can express some of my emotions and the constant love and support I've had from my friends and family, so why am I struggling so much this year? 

I've been in difficult head-spaces over the last 12 months, maybe it's something I'll go into detail with when I'm ready but for now let's just say its been tough and maybe I'll be back with a bang when even I have an explanation to my clouded mindset but for now, I hope you'll stick by me with my sporadic blog posts, my questionable uploads and everything in-between. 

Lots of love x 



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