When I originally thought of this post, I was really really happy, life was beginning to make sense, I was comfortable with everything I was doing and I felt like nothing could bring me down...  

That was until recently, I've noticed myself fall back into a dark place. I'm constantly tired, always working and just don't seem to have the energy for much at the moment, I'm sad a lot and my emotions are getting the better of me, unfortunately with a counselling degree I'm constantly trying to analyse my own thoughts & emotions and right now I don't have the answers I want to hear. 

For me I've always been a roller coaster of emotions, throughout one day you'll find me at a complete high and excited, happy and enjoying life but a couple hours later I could be crying over anything personally I'm beginning to find my own attitude mentally draining, so I dread to think how anyone else is coping - I probably need to thank my friends and family more often. At the moment one of my biggest struggles is work, it's busy, long hours and it's weighing very heavy on me and now having considerable effects on my moods, so let's hope with all the events I've got planned for the rest of 2018, I've always got something to look forward to and I can kick myself out of this mood again. 

Whatever mood I'm in by the time this post goes live (it turns out writing this when you're sad is 100x more difficult than I assumed). I wanted to share six things that make me happy: 


I'm really lucky to have strong friendships and this years I've watched them grow stronger and stronger and hand on heart don't think I'd be the person I am today without any of my friendship groups. Whether it's a quick message to my best friend hundreds of miles away, spending some quality time with my besties or making plans with my work pals, it doesn't take me long to realise I've got a good bunch of people around me. 


2018 has been a year filled of breaking boundaries, new experiences and taking myself on adventures.   This all started in Sept '17 when I solo travelled to Scotland to see my best friend and throughout this year we've been making constant plans and trips to get us through a rather challenging year. I've been lucky enough to travel to Manchester & Newcastle to visit Charlotte (we've got plenty more trips planned to keep us going until the new year), my best friends took me to Aberystwyth for my birthday in March and I've recently been on my holidays with my momma (posts about that trip, here). With plenty other adventures we've been on and still even more to go this year; I'm more and more excited to see what I'll be doing next. 


Binge watching TV and films has always been a favourite thing for me, comforting if you will. For some reason over the last few months my focus for them has lowered, I just couldn't be bothered to sit in front of Netflix for hours on end, I know its mad. But recently I've begun watching films again, I've binged watched TV series and I'm on the look out for more and more recommendations. The only frustrating part is that working in a cinema you'd think I'd be able to watch all the latest releases but, nope. I don't know, I'm really enjoying watching TV shows recently; my new favourite being GOOD GIRLS on Netflix, has it been renewed for a second season, anyone? And Obviously doing my usual thing of indulging in all the cheesy teen rom-coms, those are my absolute favs. 

When you work in retail, having the weekend off is a godsend and very rare. After four years working in retail my body is slowly feeling the effects of working weekends, not being able to see my friends outside of my work unless they've told me about it weeks in advance. And luckily for me the last couple of weeks, I've been fortunate enough to have plans most weekends; from hen parties to weddings, birthday celebrations and generally spending time with my pals. For someone who's having a hard time at work, it calms me to think about the fun plans I have on the weekend. 

Not only have I been really lucky with adventures throughout the years; I've been up to other fun things. It feels as though I've made an unwritten rule with my friends to do as much as possible this year (and I'm totally digging it). This year alone I've seen Paramore, Don Broco, Slam Dunk festival ft. Good Charlotte, Sleeping with Sirens etc, etc. Hen weekends, Weddings, Friends Fest (blog post about that coming soon), Birmingham Pride and just general drunken evenings - everything I've done this year has pushed me out of comfort zones, broken boundaries and generally makes me happy just thinking about them. 

After my little hiatus this year, it feels good to be back with my blog. It takes me a little longer to write a post now, I get more stressed out with my lack of creativity and I miss the blogging I would do in 2016, but never-the-less I AM excited to be back. It fun to write again, I love working on my photography and whilst I have the blogging community cheering me on, I've also got my best friends, especially Laura who's been encouraging me to get back in the game, brain storming with me, planning days for shoots and just helping me get back on my feet. Knowing I have so much support for my little corner of the internet is heartwarming; I'll probs be crying about it later. 

I'm grateful for all these things, for my friends and family and everything that does help keep my head above the water, but mental health is a serious thing, talking about it and sharing our experiences can help other people and I think today's post would be a good time to talk about mine. I get down and sad a lot, I'm tired all the time and I'm feeling very anxious and panicked recently but I'm trying to focus on the things that do make me happy and trying to push myself away from a mind-set that could deteriorate. I've visited the doctors a number of times over the years about my mental health and never really felt I've found the support I've needed, I've got the number to a counselling service and I guess I'm just waiting to get myself on that wait list. 

Things can make me sad but things also make me happy, I'm confused with what I'm meant to feel and I think it's time I got the right help to figure that out. 

After my bad experience at the doctors it's quite difficult for me to pick up the phone and ring these counselling services as I'm worried about what could go wrong...maybe writing this post would help me. 

What things make you happy, especially when you feel sad? 

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