So whilst ya girl is trying to make her 83657319th comeback. I might also have a couple of confessions to make. 

I've been wracking my brain lately with ideas, plans and constantly searching for motivation and in the tiniest bursts I'll have something. But nothing stays around for long. Whether it be due to lack of spare time. Trying to have a social life. Or pure writers blog. My blog has taken the back seat, yet again. 

Fortunately for me being a content creator isn't something I rely on for more than just a lil' bit of fun. My escapism, if you will . And I've become completely a-ok with the idea that my little corner of the internet probably won't last til' the end of this year and actually. I really hate that. Three years ago this baby was my passion, I woke up everyday with more and more ideas, endless inspiration and was ready to take on any challenge that my blog and the community threw at me, yet somehow it was like it was switched off for me. And it's not that I hate my blog now - I just miss what it once was. 

And recently I spend more and more time just pondering on that idea and what could've changed my mind so drastically... 

I started see the stars in 2013; the peak of blogging I guess. Everything was carefree, I could write about anything and everything and I just really enjoyed working on my writing style and playing around with my photography...oh, and avoiding all university assignments I had at the time. I wrote movie reviews, shared details of my days out and oh my days, I fell in love with makeup like I never thought possible. 

I don't know whether it was the pressure I felt to make everything perfect, that need to have the cleanest photographs and the perfectly worded content or the fact that I never felt I lived up to any of the 'blogger' expectations but over time I lost all the energy for it. 

My brain still constantly thinks about what content I could share. I still don't use makeup products until I've taken pictures. And at least once a week I'll open up blogger.com in the hopes to miraculously find my blogging spark again. And yet I've only shared three posts in 2019. What a let down. 

Cards on the table, one of my biggest motivations for getting my blog back up and running is my desire for a job in the media/marketing/online industry. And with it already proving difficult to find my dream job, at least I've got my blog as some sort of 'portfolio'.  I was never 100% sure on what I wanted to do as a career until I started my blog and discovered that I could use this small passion and make it a successful career.

Personally I think my blog peaked in 2016, my inspiration was on top form, I was beginning to figure out google analytics and had some idea of the ASA guidelines I needed to follow. I was engaged with bloggers on all social media platforms, I was making coffee dates with friends and was planning to travel the country to meet others. I was writing regularly and just knew that I could take all this and make it my profession. Yet one day that spark just switched off, it's like my brain took a holiday from blogging and I've only been able to check in as and when it wants me to.

Luckily for me, I'm still in contact with some of my blogging friends, my friends are constantly supporting the idea of my 'comebacks' and I've entered a new relationship with a guy who sings my praises about anything; so he's all for the blog if it's something that will put a smile on my face. 

Not only do I want to start up my blog again for myself and for my future career prospects...I want to do it for them. For the people who enjoy seeing me excited with the work that I've create and for the people who will always support and read whatever waffle I share. 

I guess what I'm saying is. This isn't going to be yet another comeback. I don't think I'm ever really going to have one. I'm going to share as and when I can and I'm going to focus on how I can create content for myself in a way that everyone else can enjoy and to help boost my experience so I can finally land that dream job. And if all this means I can find my once regular blogging routine once again, I'm all for it. 

More than anything I think I needed to get these thoughts off my chest and out into the world of bloggers who *hopefully* understand where I'm coming from and can give me even just a lil' bit of advice on how I can break away from this teenage tantrum my brain seems to be having about my corner of the internet. Help me find my spark again. Please. Oh like jeez, please help me. 

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