WHY I'M OKAY WITH SAYING GOODBYE TO BAD FRIENDSHIPS

1.10.21

OH BOY, has this post been a long time coming. Actually such a long time coming, that I've written, deleted and re-written this more times than I'd like to admit for well over a year. 

I often get so far into writing this post and flake from sharing this with you, but the fact that it's on my mind over a year later, must mean I seriously need to get it off my chest...so, here goes nothing. 

Why I'm okay with saying goodbye to bad friendships - sarahlaublogs

I don't know whether it's the fact I'm now in my late 20's or the fact that I've finally accepted that nothing good comes from having bad people in your life, and to be honest as the years go by, I'm okay with being the person with fewer friends - what is it that say? Quality over quantity? 

From my late teens until my mid-twenties, I found myself make friends with some pretty shitty people. Whether they were spreading gossip within the friendship group, making me the butt of everyones jokes and not knowing why or having that one manipulative friend who you later discovered was gaslighting you. God, have I had a mix of bad friendships - but it's not exactly something I ever wanted to be known for (...and I think that's why I've avoided writing this for so long...) 

Why I'm okay with saying goodbye to bad friendships - sarahlaublogs
Why I'm okay with saying goodbye to bad friendships - sarahlaublogs

But today, today it feels okay to stand up and accept that I've had those experiences. 

I've lived and learned from them. 

And weirdly it's made me an expert on who to avoid and who I'm better off without. 

Because, it's okay to say goodbye to bad friendships.

Actually, it's more than okay. It's something we need to encourage more. Not only for your mental wellbeing, but just because! Because why should we let those shoddy people be in our lives any longer than they have been, because they seriously don't deserve a friend like you. 

The thing I've found problematic about the whole experience is *how I go about saying goodbye* and eventually, once you stop feeding them your goodness, once you stop letting them say mean things about you and once you stop making them feel better about themselves, they soon get bored and leave you alone. 

Why I'm okay with saying goodbye to bad friendships - sarahlaublogs

I've found myself with fewer friends over the years and for a really long time, thought I was the problem. It wasn't until I take a step back and looked at the issues in these relationships did I realise that I was never to blame. 

Those few friends I have are the best friends I have. 

They make me feel welcomed whenever I need them 
They never make me feel less of a person for my feelings. 
They support and encourage me throughout every decision in life. 

And I'm stupidly lucky to have them by my side. 

Why I'm okay with saying goodbye to bad friendships - sarahlaublogs

I thought this would be more of an *how to guide* on saying goodbye to bad people, but I think for the first time, writing this down has allowed me to assess the situation and find closure in the loss of those friendships. Thanks for making me a stronger person, I guess but boy, am I glad our time together ended. 

If you ever need someone to talk to about a similar situation, I'm just a message away, here... 

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